I will never forget the moment when I got my first positive pregnancy test. We weren’t really trying, but we weren’t doing anything to prevent pregnancy either. We had been married for 2 months and were getting ready to move from Canada to Kansas City - so in hindsight we maybe could’ve planned better, but no regrets. 

Peering down at that positive test, I was overcome with joy, anxiety, relief (I have suffered with endometriosis since I was a teenager and had been told that getting pregnant would be difficult. Hence why we weren’t preventing pregnancy…) and disbelief. So I took 5 more tests, just to be sure. 

I didn’t have to go find my husband, he had hovered outside the bathroom door and then we both stood over the test for 3 minutes waiting for the lines to show up. 

I quickly learned that when to tell other people that you are pregnant is kind of a big deal! But I didn’t figure that out until after I had started telling people. I was met mostly with excitement, but surprisingly, there were still those who said insensitive things such as “I hope you don’t lose it. You’re still early” and “Wow you guys have bad timing!” Guys, we know. But thanks for saying my fears and insecurities aloud. That feels good.

So I am here today to help you figure out how to either swerve away from or lean into the awkwardness and know when to tell people about your exciting news. These are not hard and fast rules though, you can do whatever you want! 

So let’s take a look at your options!

Immediately. 

You are still holding your positive test, so you might as well take a pic and post to Instagram and Facebook! I mean, after you call your mom. 

Cons:

• You are opened up to people’s criticism 

Pros:

• It’s out of the way. You can move on with your life without having to worry about keeping a secret.

• You now have an excuse to get out of a lot of awkward gatherings. It’s practically your “Get out of jail” card for everything now! “Can’t. I’m pregnant.”

After your first ultrasound

You’ve been to your OB 2 or 3 times now, you’ve heard the heartbeat and now you’ve seen your little one on an ultrasound screen. 

Cons: 

• You are opened up to people’s criticism

• You’re still early, but this seems to be a pretty common point for people to shout their news.

Pros:

• You now have a picture of your little one to share with the world rather than a stick you peed on to post on social media!

Once you are in your 2nd trimester

Cons:

• You are opened up to people’s criticism

• That just seems like a long time to keep a secret.

• How will you explain your exhaustion and nausea to your family, friends and coworkers? “I’m just… hung over… again” They’ll host an intervention #awkward

Pros:

• Everyone who cares about you are all already gathered for your Intervention! Two birds with one stone.

Until it can’t be kept a secret any longer

Cons:

• You are opened up to people’s criticism

• It’s dependent on how good you are at keeping a secret.

• How long can you pretend that you just ate too much at lunch?

Pros:

• You can set a personal record for how long you kept a secret

Don’t tell anybody at all ever. Act like it’s all normal and there’s nothing to see. 

Cons:

• You are opened up to people’s criticism

• You may risk not getting a baby shower

• Your friends don’t want to ask because that seems rude, but surely you would’ve told them if you were #awkward

Pros:

• Please, somebody do this. For science. 

• Maybe you’ll get to be on TV!

• At 38 weeks, your belly button popping out as you waddle through the store, when a complete stranger says “Any day now!”  you can turn that into a teaching moment and say any outrageous thing you want! “I hope so! The doctor on the Google says this is what happens when you don’t poop for weeks.” You can make the people who feel the need to comment on your weight or your belly regret it and maybe they won’t comment on another woman’s weight again. It’s your service to women, really.

At the end of the day, when you tell your trusted circle of people the news and then share with the rest of the world, is your call. Nobody can make that decision for you! People will always have insensitive & thoughtless things to say, especially when it comes to a pregnant woman. The good news is that tose aren’t your people and really, isn’t it nice when people tell on themselves and take the work out of figuring out who they are for you?

How and when did you share your news?

PS: if anybody tries that last one, please let me know. You know, for science.