5 Ways To Make A New Mom Friend in KC: An Introvert's Guide
Listen, having a baby throws the balance of your social life waaaaay off. Even if you’re an introvert! We introverts keep a pretty small group of friends. So when we have a baby and our friend circle (triangle?) shifts, it can feel pretty lonely and terrifying at the idea of starting over, because, peopling.
Yes, we still have our old friends, but if you’re the first or the last in your group to have a baby, you might be feeling a little left out or left behind. So how does an introverted new mom make a new friend in Kansas City? Well, you’re in good company because all of us over here at Oh Baby! KC identify as introverts (introverts make amazing doulas btw), or at least introverts with extroverted tendencies. Let me share some of our own personal tips that we have found to work over the past few years of mom life as an introvert.
*Let me preface this by saying one thing: Introvert does not necessarily mean shy, awkward or anti-social. Introversion really comes down to how you gain energy. While our extrovert friends would gain energy by being around a lot of people, we introverts recharge by either being alone or by engaging meaningfully one-on-one. Sure, we can be awkward too - but aren’t we all sometimes?
Okay! So back to our tips! Where can a new mom go to make a friend?
There’s a group for everything. And within the group type, there are sub-types. For example, you have your basic mom groups, but then you have groups for expecting and new moms, groups for breastfeeding, baby-wearing, “crunchy” moms, you get the idea. (I linked a bunch of local groups up there for you to check out!) Many of these groups have meet ups or you can just post and say “Hey! Who wants to meet up for coffee?” Try it! A lot of moms would jump at the chance for adult conversation.
LLL (Le Leche League)
LLL is a free international breastfeeding resource with local groups lead by a LLL Leader. The beauty of this is that you actually have to go to a meeting to get information and meet other moms, but it’s also a really wonderful resource to help you along in your breastfeeding journey. Check here for a group in an area of the city near you!
Kansas City has a fantastic Baby-wearing Society! At these meetings, you will not only get some great info on how to baby-wear but you can borrow a carrier too.
Do something you love to do - you’ll make a friend along the way.
Not everything you do has to be baby-related to make a new friend (Be your own person?! What a concept!) You can put that new baby carrier to use and take a class or workshop (painting, pottery, etc) or do something you used to do before you had a baby. Making a friend while doing something you love is not only sustainable, but it makes the process a lot less awkward than sitting at the park waiting for someone to come along and start with small talk (eww!).
Let an extrovert adopt you.
Okay, I’m only half kidding here. But having an extrovert as a friend can be a great exercise in not turning into a hermit! Your extroverted friend will probably go with you to things you’d normally never want to go to alone, or maybe take you to things you’d never dream of going to. When you become the friend of an extrovert, it can be an easy and fun process - let yourself go with the flow.