OB or Midwife? Which is best for you?
You may be seeing the same OBGYN you’ve been going to for years for your well-woman checks. If you love them, have a great relationship with them and want them to deliver your baby, then great! This is not the blog for you ;)
I want to talk to you, dear expecting mom, who is trying to find a good fit in an OB or a midwife and you just don’t know where to start. If you are in Kansas City (I can’t speak to other places), there are a lot of options for you to consider when it comes to choosing a provider for your birth.
Really, the choice isn’t so much as between an OB or a midwife, but finding the person you resonate with and want to have in your corner. You may assume that having a midwife will be your Golden Ticket to having an intervention-free birth, but depending on your values, personality and health, an OB may actually be in your best interest.
So how do you determine which hospital, practice and provider you go with for your prenatal care and birth? That’s what I want to help you figure out. Let’s break this down and get you the birth team of your dreams so you can have the birth experience of your dreams!
What are you wanting out of your birth experience?
This question is not “do you want a natural birth or a C-section?” This is more about how you want to feel, what do you want to have control over and what are the things that would make you feel like you had a good birth? Somethings you may consider are:
The bedside manner of your OB or midwife
I have been to births with one OB who people just LOVE and rave about, but my client didn’t click with them and therefore had a not-so-great experience with that particular OB. They are a great OB, but because of their personality, it wasn’t a good fit.
How likely are you to get the provider you actually want at your birth? If you choose a practice with a shared-call (most practices), then chances are, you will get one of the other OBs or midwives on call. How well do you “click” with the entire practice?
Do you want to feel empowered? Safe? Calm? Peaceful? What is your word? When you envision your birth, what word encompasses that vision?
Is not having ______ intervention your absolute goal? How supportive of that decision is your provider? Does your desire to not have a saline lock, for example (I chose this example, because it is a common one), go against hospital policy, or are they willing to work with you on that?
“Choose a provider who is supportive of your choices, not just tolerant!”
Studies have found that it is the way women are treated during their birth rather than the actual interventions that take place that dictate whether women view their birth as a positive or negative experience. Which means, how you are treated during your birth will dictate how you view your birth - good or bad - for the rest of your life.
Take away: Once you have determined what “your word” is and have a vision of what you are wanting, ask yourself “Does my current provider fit into that goal? Are they supportive of the choices I make? Does my birthing location fit that vision?”
What is important to you for your birth?
This is very similar to the last question, but a little more specific to the actual type of birth you are wanting. You can have a good birth without having a natural birth, and you can have a natural birth without having a good birth. But if you prepare and know what your options are and choose a birthing location that is supportive of you and your choices, you can have a good birth and a natural birth, a good birth and an epidural birth, a good birth and a cesarean birth, a good birth and literally any type of birth!
“You can have a good birth without having a natural birth, and you can have a natural birth without having a good birth.”
But back to choosing what type of birth you are wanting! If you are wanting to have a natural birth in a hospital, a midwife may be the choice for you. However, if you are considered “high risk” some practices may recommend that you see an OB. Don’t fret, if you “have to” choose an OB, there are many OBs who are supportive of natural birthing moms. (PS Being high risk does not disqualify you from a good birth or a natural birth!)
Exercise: Write out your birth plan (Here’s the one I have used with many families) in your 1st trimester, again in your 2nd trimester and then again in your 3rd trimester. Writing out your plan will bring up questions about your options and you can find out how supportive your provider is at your appointments when you ask them.
If you are wanting an epidural, you can still have a midwife in the hospital! Some hospitals in the Kansas City area have midwifery practices such as Brookside Babies who deliver at Research Medical Center.
Take away: Find a provider who is supportive of what type of birth you are wanting. If you tell them that you are aiming to have a natural birth, how they respond to that will tell you a lot.
Home or hospital?
Here’s the Big Question of the year: “Should I have a homebirth?” Especially since COVID-19 hit, women are switching to homebirth by the droves! It isn’t a flippant decision to make though and there are definitely some things to consider to determine if homebirth is the right choice for you and your family. If it is, here is my absolute favorite midwife. It’s no secret!
You and your partner are on the same page.
If your partner is nervous about it, that energy may affect your birth and cause resentment on both sides if your birth does not happen the way you envisioned.
You are not high risk.
If you are high risk, most homebirth midwives will not take you, but will refer you to a CNM (midwife with hospital privileges) or OB they know and trust.
How prepared are you for a natural birth?
This goes without saying, but homebirth is a pretty solid commitment to a natural birth. I always recommend taking a childbirth class for women wanting a natural hospital birth, even more so for women wanting a home birth!