Come and Meet Yourself: Journaling as self-care
What’s cheaper than therapy and can be done in your pajamas?
Journals. Have you seen some of the amazing journals available these days? Lined or unlined. Softcover or hardcover. Spiral-bound or lay-flat. Tooled leather or flowery fabric. Themed, prompt-per-day, one-line-per-day, doodle and color… Entire boutique shops and sites are bursting with enticing options.
Then there are the fabulous pens and markers to make the experience perfect.
But, yeah, you’re a mother, and I understand, you don’t have time for journaling!
That includes the new baby journal, which you got at least two of in your baby shower. And although it’s fun to track significant firsts and fun, discoveries, I mean something just as important, maybe critically important. I mean journaling as self-care—taking care of you, Mama.
Whether this is your first baby or your fourth, you barely have time to sit down with the baby book, much less to spend any time on yourself. But journaling is more than just recording the day’s weather report and what you got done. Think about these ways keeping a journal can benefit you.
Venting
A journal is a safe place to express things you would never say to another soul. You know how important it is to not just lash out. But sometimes you have to do something about those feelings rattling around in your aching heart. They can take up so much of your energy you can hardly move past them to get things done properly.
Take that anger, frustration, and grief to your journal. Every single word, every emotion. Let it out. Then shut your journal and stuff it back into the closet next to the pistachios and Swiss chocolate you hide from your husband.
Now you can go back out there and be your strong and kind Mama self. Don’t you feel better?
Clarity
Your journal is where you can process your thinking about stuff going on. Have a looming decision? List out the pros and cons of all the options, drill down to what you really think and want, and identify all those conflicting desires.
Need to bring up something touchy with your partner and you’re not sure of the best approach? Write down all the ways you can bring it up and all the different arguments that might be involved. Take note of other factors involved and how they might impact the situation. Write down the ways you know or suspect your partner might respond.
In the process of naming all the pieces, the answer may jump out at you. If not, you have the pieces captured. Keep adding new insights and continue mulling it all over.
Chances are good that just at the right time, you’ll get the AHA! moment you need.
Self-knowledge
After you’ve been venting and getting clarity, you’ll realize how much better you understand yourself. Practice processing your thoughts in your journal without grading for politeness or political correctness or even how much you like or dislike it yourself. You’ll get a better view of your deepest desires, your tendencies—both the admirable and the not-so-admirable, and the gifts and skills you were given to make the world a better place.
Time spent observing yourself without self-censorship gives you new ways to become the kind of person you want to be. When you decide you need to change some things, you’ll know where to start and what to do.
Self-knowledge can give you tremendous confidence to be the resilient and effective woman you’re meant to be.
In the years to come, you can pull out your journals and see how far you’ve come. You can laugh at yourself, remember getting through tough situations, and celebrate the good—the good that has come your way and the good you created out of not-so-good situations.
In the end, journaling is about not getting stuck in hard places in life, and not becoming stagnant in good places. Journaling looks back as well as points the way forward. A bit of honest journaling could keep you out of therapy.
So go ahead, Mama. You don’t have to go buy an expensive journal. Find a notebook you’d like to write in, and set yourself to write for five minutes a day. See if you can turn it into a daily habit.
You may be amazed at the woman you meet.
Meet Lana Wildman
Lana is a business ghostwriter and writing coach in Kansas City. While writing books or helping other write their books, she's all about creativity, self care and encouraging others along the glorious, messy journey of life.