Smooth Transitions: How to Prepare Older Siblings for a New Baby
If you thought you had big feelings about bringing home a new baby, just imagine how your older child might feel. You probably have imagined it - which is why you are here!
A new sibling changes their whole little world - the routines they know, the way they share time with you, even the sounds and rhythms of home.
Some children step into the role of big brother or sister with curiosity & excitement, while others take a little more time to find their footing. Both are completely normal.
Here’s how you can gently prepare your older child for this big transition, so they feel secure, loved, and ready to welcome the newest member of the family.
1. Normalize ALL the Feelings
Your older child might feel excited, nervous, territorial, or like they’ve just been replaced. They might also swing between different emotions very quickly and it can throw you off balance at first.
Reassure them:
“It’s okay to miss the way things were.”
“It’s okay to be mad that the baby cries a lot.”
“It’s okay if you’re not ready to love the baby right away.”
2. Get Them Involved Early
Let them feel kicks, pick out a special blanket, or “help” fold baby clothes (spoiler: those onesies will be folded wrong and that’s okay).
Pro tip: Involving them now makes them feel like this is their baby too - not just a tiny stranger you brought home.
3. Give Them a Title and a Job
Kids love having official titles. Think “Big Brother/Sister in Charge of Sock Selection” or even something simple like “Mommy’s Biggest Helper”.
Keep jobs short, fun, and actually doable. No one’s putting a toddler in charge of diaper changes unless you crave chaos.
4. Protect the ‘Just Us’ Time
Even five minutes of undivided attention can refill their little love tank.
Read a quick book, share a snack, or have a special bedtime routine.
Pro tip: If you can, keep at least one small pre-baby tradition going. Rituals are an anchor in the sea of change.
5. Prep Your Visitors
Well-meaning friends and family tend to rush straight to the baby like they’re meeting Beyoncé backstage. Ask them to greet the older sibling first.
Better yet, hand them a gift to give to the older sibling “from” the baby. Works every time.
6. Manage Expectations (Without Crushing Hope)
Be honest: “Babies sleep, eat, and cry a lot right now.”
But add the fun part: “They also grow really fast, and soon they’ll think you’re hilarious.”
7. Practical Home Hacks
Snack Basket – A safe stash of grab-and-go snacks so they don’t have to wait for you to finish a feeding.
Busy Basket – Coloring books, stickers, or small toys they only get when you’re feeding the baby.
8. When Jealousy Hits
Avoid: “You’re a big kid now, stop acting like a baby.”
Instead try: “It looks like you need a little extra snuggle time right now.”
Sometimes, they don’t need a lecture - they need to feel included, loved and seen.
Closing Note from Your Friendly Neighborhood Doula
You’re not just raising a baby - you’re raising the beginnings of a sibling relationship that will last a lifetime. Yes, there will be squabbles. Yes, someone will yell “MOM, HE’S BREATHING MY AIR.” But with a little preparation and a lot of grace, you can help your kids start this new chapter on the right foot.
And hey, if you need support in those early weeks (for the baby, the big sibling, or you), that’s exactly what we do at Oh Baby! KC. We’re here to keep everyone fed, rested, and feeling loved.