Hobbies and Parenting - The balancing act of doing both
When becoming a parent, as we well know, there are lots of little luxuries we say goodbye to (at least for a while). A few being a good night's sleep, going to the bathroom in peace, or enjoying a hot meal (or any meal for that matter). Bear with me - this article isn't as depressing as it sounds so far :). But I am here to tell you that being creative and pursuing your hobbies does NOT have to be one of them, nor should it be!
We see it all the time - whether it be music, photography, yoga, you name it, parents set their passions on the shelf for a while (or worse, forever) in order to give 100% of their attention to their children and cart them around to all the organized activities they think their kids SHOULD be doing.
Does this sound familiar to you?
If so, you are a GREAT parent whose heart is in a wonderful place. But hear me out - you deserve to pursue your passions just as much as your children do, and it is absolutely possible to make time AND space for each family member's hobbies! Not only that, but what better way to set a great example for your kiddos than to let them watch you do the activities you love? We can spout out quotes and advice all day long about being creative and following your heart, but we all know they will likely do as we DO, not as we say. You're probably following me but wondering how the heck you can put this into practice in real life. Well, with four kids at home full time now with no childcare, I've learned several lessons, mostly the hard way.
I'm sure many of you can relate to this scenario - it's day 4,286 of homeschooling/working from home and your kids are either bickering non-stop or staring at you to come up with a fun activity. Before you frantically hop on Pinterest (not hating at all - I LOVE Pinterest) to search for a fun project to supervise, try asking yourself what YOU need at that moment. Yes, you. Do you need to do some yoga? Paint? Write? Pop on that yoga video and have the kids jump right in. Get out the paint supplies and paint whatever you want while letting the kids use their imaginations. Tell them you're going to do some journaling and if they'd like to join, you'd love to hear what they come up with. Granted, some of this will depend on age, but I promise you, your kids will think it's super cool to participate in the activities you love that light you up together!
As a mothers, it's so easy to fall into a martyr mindset. I catch myself all the time thinking thoughts like, "nobody cares about my interests" or "I remember back when I used to be able to do (insert activity here)". And when I start feeling that way, I ask myself, "is this how I'd want my daughters to feel down the road?" No way! I'd much rather show them that holding onto the things that light their souls on fire is exactly what helps us get through challenging times like these. Some additional examples:
Did you and your partner used to make music together? Bust out those instruments and play them a lullaby or one of your old favorites. Love to garden? Invite the kids outside with you to water or pull weeds. It's sure to be a much more memorable experience than any organized activity you could come up with.
It's still extremely important to have time to do these activities alone! But as we know, we're all stuck at home together more these days, so these are some ways you can make the most of it. It's also imperative that we advocate for ourselves as mothers and set clear boundaries when we're nearing burnout. This means kindly letting family members know when we're in need of activities that bring us joy. And, despite what it might feel like sometimes (ha!), our children love to see us happy and in our element. Try to get in the habit of putting yourself first and I guarantee you'll make some amazing memories with your kids while doing so!
Meet Emily
Emily Keller is the owner and designer of The Coral Elephant, an online handmade baby bedding and accessories boutique. Her inspiration began while designing her first daughter's nursery, and she now runs her business from home while raising her four daughters. Along with lots of coffee, yoga and wine, her family continues to inspire and drive her work!